We live our life every day – but our everyday life can be meaningful and look like ourselves instead of being a boring grind or an exhausting struggle. Even small acts and changes can improve the flow of our everyday life.
You must understand yourself in order to feel good. What makes you feel good? What works well in your everyday life? What gives you strength? What skills do you already have?
When you have identified the things you want and need from life, you are already well on your way:
- You understand yourself and your hopes better.
- You can plan and do the things that support your wellbeing.
- Your everyday life feels meaningful when you do things on your own terms.
- You are able to treat things – and yourself – more positively and kindly.
- Your life looks more like yourself.
What makes you feel good?
When you know yourself better, it is easier to focus on the right things in your everyday life. You are also taking responsibility for your own life and your wellbeing at the same time. You will identify places and situations in which you can make choices.
A good start for building a life that looks like yourself is identifying your own needs and values. What do you need for your wellbeing? What things in life are the most important to you?
Satisfied needs create positive energy. Unfulfilled needs, on the other hand, may often cause worrying and anxiety in everyday life. Our needs include the following:
- Intimacy with others
- Being accepted and valued
- Belonging in a community
- Opportunities to fulfil ourselves through play, work, studies or some other activity
- Independence
- Basic things such as food, water and shelter
If our everyday life does not satisfy our needs, we become unhappy and our mood suffers. The more important the need, the more notable the effects. For instance, if being accepted by others is particularly important to you, being rejected feels all the harsher. And vice versa: the more you feel that others appreciate you, the better you feel.
If your everyday life seems to consist of things simply happening without being able to affect anything yourself and you are constantly feeling low, you should stop and take a step back. What needs to change in your everyday life to make it satisfy your needs?
NEEDS ARE DIFFERENT FROM DESIRES
It is good to separate needs from desires, which provide momentary pleasure. For example, we may want a new dress, a game, or a phone very badly, but these are not needs. Satisfying a need produces a longer-term experience of satisfaction. For example, receiving public praise and thanks can make us feel good for a long time. It meets our need to be valued and treated well by others.
If everyday life feels like things just happen, you can’t influence anything, and your mood is often depressed, it’s time to stop. Think about what needs to change in your everyday life to better meet your needs.
Once you’ve identified your needs, you can make changes in your daily life that support wellbeing. Life will feel meaningful and important. Your mood will be lifted, and you will feel responsible for your own wellbeing. At the same time, you’re telling yourself you’re important and worth investing in.