Dating and relationship

Summary

  • A romantic relationship begins with infatuation and falling in love, which creates the desire to be together. In the early stages, a partner may feel like someone who completes your life, but the foundation of a lasting relationship lies in self-awareness and taking responsibility for one’s own happiness.

  • Separation and symbiosis: After the initial closeness, partners begin to rediscover their individuality and separateness, which actually strengthens the relationship. This phase is crucial for maintaining balance.

  • Resolving conflicts and having realistic expectations are central to a successful relationship. A healthy relationship is built on the ability of two equal individuals to respect each other and both their shared and personal space.

  • Maintaining a relationship requires many skills: balancing closeness and independence, creating shared moments, expressing emotions, and facing challenges. In a strong partnership, humor, romance, and mutual support must be nurtured so that both individuals can grow as themselves within the relationship.

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Where Does Relationship Begin?

Dating and relationships usually begin with infatuation and falling in love. But what makes us fall for a particular person? It might be their appearance, personality, or simply something indescribable that draws us in.

Sometimes it’s hard to explain—even to ourselves—what exactly made us fall in love. Luckily, we don’t have to. The early rush of love is meant to be enjoyed fully. Falling in love is a wonderful experience and essential for creating the desire to be together.

Falling in love often comes with the feeling that life is somehow more complete because of the other person. They make us feel whole, fulfilled, and happy. Still, the hopes and expectations tied to love and one’s partner can sometimes be exaggerated. The idea that another person will make us happy or fix our problems is understandable in the glow of new love.

The foundation of a lasting relationship is strong self-awareness: being in touch with oneself, one’s feelings, and one’s needs.

Take Responsibility for Your Own Happiness

In the long run, making your partner responsible for your happiness will lead to disappointment. The idea that someone else will bring ultimate happiness is misleading. In the end, each person is responsible for their own well-being—even in a relationship.

The foundation of a lasting relationship is strong self-awareness: being in touch with oneself, one’s feelings, and one’s needs. When you know yourself, it becomes easier to express how you feel, what you need, what you enjoy, and what you cannot tolerate. This prevents the expectation that a partner should fix your problems or make your life perfect. The responsibility for your happiness cannot rest on your partner’s shoulders.

A healthy relationship is about living together with compromise while still listening to your own feelings and needs.

In a sustainable relationship, both partners are happy—together and as individuals.

Change Is Part Of Relationship

Dating and relationships often begin with a strong feeling of falling in love. This initial phase is called the symbiotic phase. It is necessary for creating a shared foundation but is meant to give way over time. Breaking away from symbiosis can be one of the first crises in a relationship, especially if it happens at different times for each partner.

Breaking away from symbiosis means finding one’s own individuality within the relationship. Individuality means knowing who you are, what you want and need, and what you don’t want. It also means recognizing your own feelings, expressing them, and knowing your personal boundaries.

After the symbiotic phase, the relationship settles into a new groove where finding individuality alongside togetherness becomes important.

A relationship is an ever-changing union of partners working through these changes together. When periods of disappointment and alienation arise, it is important to also recognize the value of individuality.

Resolving conflicts and facing the reality versus expectations are essential to the success of the relationship. Ultimately, partnership is realistic love—a relationship where two equal adults respect each other, their connection, and their individuality.

Relationship Challenges

A relationship involves many tasks. Challenges can arise when you need to:

  • separate from your childhood family and commit to the relationship
  • build closeness and intimacy in a way that both partners maintain their individuality and privacy
  • create and experience a sense of “we” and togetherness
  • find one-on-one moments and closeness alongside personal hobbies and friendships
  • balance closeness and separateness without submitting or living by the other’s terms
  • face adversities and handle changes so that they strengthen the relationship rather than break it
  • freely express your feelings and opinions without fear of rejection
  • respect and appreciate both your own and your partner’s sexuality
  • maintain a satisfying sex life
  • preserve humor and interest
  • care for and invest in the relationship
  • give and receive comfort and encouragement
  • keep romance and dreams alive
  • face partnership and parenthood

The relationship progresses as challenges and adversities are overcome. At the same time, security and trust in the relationship increase. This way, the growth and changes of the other partner do not become too threatening. Both have the freedom to grow and develop as themselves.

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