How To Strengthen Self-compassion?

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How To Strengthen Self-compassion?

Self-compassion is not a permanent character trait that a person either has or does not have. Instead, it is a skill that everyone can learn step by step, at their own pace.

There are many ways to strengthen self-compassion. You can do writing and meditation exercises, or try to adopt a more self-compassionate attitude towards yourself more spontaneously in everyday life, in situations where you notice that you treat yourself harshly and judgmentally.

Tips for practicing self-compassion

• Observe how you talk to yourself. When you notice feelings of disappointment or failure, pause for a moment. Notice the tone you use with yourself. How would you talk to a friend? Reflect on how you would speak to a friend in the same situation. How does it differ from the way you speak to yourself?
• Accept your feelings. Don’t exaggerate them, and don’t minimize them. Remind yourself that the emotions you experience are human. It’s also human to speak harshly to yourself; you don’t need to scold yourself even more for that.
• It is also helpful to write down once a week the things that have gone well and why. This helps you focus on successes. For example, instead of blaming yourself for being “lazy” at the gym, you can write that you are pleased that you managed to go at all. That’s what a friend would say too – “At least you made it to the gym, be proud of that!”

You can find more in-depth information about self-compassion and several exercises in Nyyti ry’s Compassion Mentoring Guide, pages 55–71.

Also explore Kristin Neff’s helpful Self-compassion exercises. Her website offers a wide range of practices, from guided meditations to other exercises.