General Information About Self-esteem
Summary
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Answers to the questions “How do you feel about yourself?” and “How much do you value yourself?” reveal a lot about the state of your self-esteem.
When your self-esteem is in good shape, it is easier to treat yourself and others with kindness and acceptance. You can acknowledge your mistakes and shortcomings yet still fundamentally see yourself as a good person.
Good self-esteem is built on genuine self-awareness.
What Is Good Self-esteem?
A person with good self-esteem:
- Has a truthful self-image – they recognize and acknowledge their weaknesses. They do not excuse bad behavior with their weaknesses, as in: “This is just how I am, I can’t help it.”
- Trusts themselves – having self-confidence means daring to take on challenging tasks, even without being sure of success, but trying anyway.
- Values themselves as a person – this means not allowing oneself to be treated disrespectfully.
- Considers their own life valuable and unique.
- Is independent in their life decisions and not dependent on others’ opinions.
- Feels no need to hurt others.
- Lives according to their own values rather than what society happens to admire at the moment.
- Can tolerate uncertainty, disappointments, and failures.
What Is Not Good Self-esteem?
Good self-esteem is not:
- The same as appearing confident or achieving outward success.
- Merely seeing oneself in an entirely positive light.
- Social courage – a shy or reserved person can have excellent self-esteem, just as a loud, social person may secretly struggle with poor self-esteem. Self-esteem is not always visible.
- Selfishness.
- Pursuing one’s goals at the expense of others.
Self-esteem can change throughout life. Difficult situations, such as a relationship breakup, can lower self-esteem, while positive events can raise it. Self-esteem can be developed in any stage of life. As it improves, satisfaction with life and the sense of control over one’s own life tend to increase.
No one has perfect self-esteem – and that should not even be the goal. Good self-esteem is not a guarantee of a happy life, and lacking it does not mean life is bad. Poor self-esteem is not a sign of being a failed person or a permanent label. It is completely human to sometimes feel unsure about whether you can handle something. On the other hand, everyone has at least some degree of self-esteem.
If you realize that your self-esteem is not very strong, it is worth considering this in your decisions – for example, by consciously supporting yourself and encouraging yourself to take on bigger challenges than you believe you can manage.
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