Towards a life that looks like yourself

Towards a life that looks like yourself


We live our life every day – but our everyday life can be meaningful and look like ourselves instead of being a boring grind or an exhausting struggle. Even small acts and changes can improve the flow of our everyday life.

You must understand yourself in order to feel good. What makes you feel good? What works well in your everyday life? What gives you strength? What skills do you already have?

When you have identified the things you want and need from life, you are already well on your way:

  • You understand yourself and your hopes better.
  • You can plan and do the things that support your wellbeing.
  • Your everyday life feels meaningful when you do things on your own terms.
  • You are able to treat things – and yourself – more positively and kindly.
  • Your life looks more like yourself.

What makes you feel good?

When you know yourself better, it is easier to focus on the right things in your everyday life. You are also taking responsibility for your own life and your wellbeing at the same time. You will identify places and situations in which you can make choices.

A good start for building a life that looks like yourself is identifying your own needs and values. What do you need for your wellbeing? What things in life are the most important to you?

Fulfilled needs support wellbeing

Satisfied needs create positive energy. Unfulfilled needs, on the other hand, may often cause worrying and anxiety in everyday life. Our needs include the following:

  • Intimacy with others
  • Being accepted and valued
  • Belonging in a community
  • Opportunities to fulfil ourselves through play, work, studies or some other activity
  • Independence
  • Basic things such as food, water and shelter

If our everyday life does not satisfy our needs, we become unhappy and our mood suffers. The more important the need, the more notable the effects. For instance, if being accepted by others is particularly important to you, being rejected feels all the harsher. And vice versa: the more you feel that others appreciate you, the better you feel.

If your everyday life seems to consist of things simply happening without being able to affect anything yourself and you are constantly feeling low, you should stop and take a step back. What needs to change in your everyday life to make it satisfy your needs?

Lead a life that reflects your values

When you think about things you consider the most important in life, you are thinking about your values. When you lead a life that reflects your values, your everyday life feels that much more meaningful. This is why it is good to occasionally step back and reflect on what you consider the most important things in life.

When you lead a life that reflects your values, your everyday life feels that much more meaningful.

The most important thing about values is that they are meaningful to you. Good food, friends and family may be your values just as well as environmental protection, tolerance or cherishing honesty. Your values are your own: personal views that cannot be used to compete with others.

From time to time, you might want to check whether your life reflects your values. If you consider health the most important thing in life, take a moment to evaluate whether your daily choices truly cherish health. Does it get the importance it deserves or does it have to compete for your attention with other things?

We often do things out of habit or to meet the expectations of other people. Even though life features a certain number of unpleasant things or duties you do not always feel like taking care of, it is still possible to lead a life that reflects your values.

When you are able to identify your needs and values, you can make changes that support your wellbeing in your everyday life. Life will feel meaningful and important, your mood will improve and you will feel in charge of your own wellbeing. At the same time, you are telling yourself that you are important and worth the effort.

Goals help you lead a life that reflects your values

You might need some practice working with goals – but it is worth it. It will help you both bring about changes and make your life increasingly reflect your values.

Tips for setting goals:
  • Come up with a concrete main goal and put it into words as precisely as possible.
  • Divide the goal into smaller intermediate goals that lead towards the main goal.
  • Write down small steps that lead to the intermediate goals. Think of what you could do tomorrow, next week, for the next month or for half a year.
  • Reward yourself not only for success, but also for a good effort!
  • Accept changes and setbacks as a part of life. Sometimes setbacks happen but you can regard them as learning experiences.

A certain amount of orderliness is good for you. Solve one issue at a time and do even that in small steps. This way, even large goals become achievable and entirely possible.

Sometimes things do not quite go to plan. This is normal and setbacks can happen. Do not lose heart – rethink your plans, make the necessary changes and continue forward.

Be patient and gentle with yourself. Sometimes changes require a lot of time and practice. Remind yourself that you are good enough the way you are.

Be patient and gentle with yourself.


Food for thought:
  • What do you want from your life?
  • What are the most important things for you?
  • What are your goals and how can you get closer to them?
  • What are you willing to do for your wellbeing?